I HATE that phrase…

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Can I just get all of the boys doctors all in one room and everyone can tell me how to raise and feed my kids all at one time?
Being told over and over and over from different people who don’t actually KNOW my kids is getting EXTREMELY overwhelming… and annoying.

*sigh*
So, I blew up on one of the doctors at the Pediatrician’s office we go to today. They have many Doctors/Nurse Practitioners there… and he wasn’t the one we normally see, but was the one whom they set us up with to do his Health and Physical to be cleared for his Sedation Hearing test in two days.

I didn’t mean to.
I didn’t want to.
I tried to hold it in as much as I possibly could… but as soon as he said that phrase… I just couldn’t hold it in any more.

So he walks in.
Says hi… starts typing.
“And what are we seeing you guys for today?”

I explained.
He finished typing, grabbed some gloves and walked over to Jax.
He starts listening to his chest and the first thing he says… before asking me questions about how he eats or how often… he asks if he has been tested for >>whatever<<… I said no, I don’t know what that is.

“It’s >blah blah blah< when they can’t stop eating. They just eat and eat and eat.”

I was like… seriously?!
“He doesn’t eat a lot… or every often”
“Huh”
*keeps examining*
He asks me very vague questions about his eating… I explain he really only snacks.. Mostly crunchy carbs… cereal and veggie straws.

And again… without asking me why… without asking me what I’ve tried… without asking me if he has any actual issues with anything… he starts telling me about this little girl…

Who was “quite big” and only two.
And I’m just staring at him… NOT smiling… because I was pissed.
This was NOT why I was here… and I JUST got to listen to all this crap two weeks ago at his Eval.

He’s going on and on about eating… and all I can think was, Jax has been barely holding it together by this point. He just wants to leave…
Then he started explaining how you start with meat, and once they eat that THEN they get fruit… then they get juice or a cereal…. And you do that all day… and that little girl didn’t eat the whole day… (In my head I’m telling myself… stay calm… stay calm…. Don’t freak out. You’re almost out of here… just keep nodding).

Then he smiled at me… like he was trying to reassure me… and said “They’ll eat when they’re hungry. Don’t worry. He won’t starve!”

That phrase… THAT FREAKING PHRASE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Sure… some kids WILL eat if you hold out… they’ve been shown from an early age that they don’t “have” to eat what they don’t want to.

But for kids like mine… who will literally starve before eating something that they just can’t stand… it’s not going to happen. It doesn’t mean I don’t try and offer new foods… but forcing them… doing the whole “you’ll eat when you’re hungry” makes it worse… and makes them have an even worse attitude towards food. And it’s down right dangerous to offer that advice when you don’t know the kid. AT. FREAKING. ALL!!!

I couldn’t… I lasted as long as I could, and I blew up… I cried…

“I’ve tried that! I’ve got three Autistic kids with food aversions and sensory issues and I’ve tried that! It doesn’t work. What I’ve been doing has been working… when I tried that… it made it worse! I’m tired of getting crapped on about his weight every time I go to a doctor’s appointment!!”

Totally shocked… he back peddles “I’m not being harsh… I’m just trying to ask questions and find out… I don’t know anything about you guys… I’m just telling you what’s worked… trying to help.”

I wanted to yell: But you’re NOT asking… you’re TELLING!!!!

“I can’t feed him anything different until I know what’s wrong with him. He’s had issues since birth!! I’m trying my best!”

I explained more… Explained the tests we’ve done. Explained how I think he might have Celiac… that he gets severe diarrhea… that he screams when I give him different foods.

He stopped talking… finished the eval…
Jax and I both calmed down.

Then he starts telling me to not worry… that kids like this get better.
That kids on the spectrum just need positive parenting… and goes on about how to parent a child like him.

I internally rolled my eyes so hard.
FREAKING KIDDING ME!?!?! Is this the visit from hell????
NOW… NOW we’re not only telling me how to feed my child… you’re telling me how to raise him… without asking me how I do it…
UGHHHH

“I’ve got two other, older Autistic kids… I know what I’m doing.”
“You have two other Autistic kids? That’s uncommon.”

(soooooooooo you weren’t actually listening to me when I was upset… when I said I had three Autistic kids… do you think I was just kidding?!)

He finally left…
And I bawled my eyes out…
It’s been an hour and I’m still freaking crying over this crap.

I obsess…
I worry…
I stress…
I FREAK THE CRAP OUT about making sure I’m being the best possible parent for my kids… in all aspects. Teaching them, loving them, caring for them, disciplining them, feeding them, therapy, exercise….

And some guy… who hasn’t seen my son in 2 ½ years (he saw him at 2 weeks old), and for maybe 5 minutes, is giving me parenting advice.

I criticize myself enough on my own… I don’t need anyone else to do it for me.

Everyone is telling me what I need to do.
School tells me to work on this… therapists tell me to work on the areas they’re focused on… doctors tell me to focus on feeding and exercise…

What you all want me to do… and expect of me… is all “advice”…
I’m the parent!!!
I get to FREAKING choose for my children what is most important right now.
Plus…
I’ve got THREE Autistic kids who all have therapists and doctors telling me what they all need me to be focusing on…
There’s only one me… and I’m doing the best I can.

Especially considering I’ve got my own mental and physical health I’m trying to deal with.

*sigh*

I just needed to vent this out or I’d end up crying about it all day.
I planned on coming back to our page soon… but with all these doctors apts where I’m being beaten down… I don’t know when I’ll ever be mentally ready to come back… These migraines are killing me.

Anyway…  
I Love and appreciate you guys. ❤

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Food Issues Comment

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The person who commented on this picture took their comment down which then also deleted mine… so I had to paraphrase the best I could. But, I think it’s important for people to understand, so I’m taking the time to rewrite and add on a bit to my responce since I’m making it into a blog. 🙂

(Not exactly word for word… but I did my best to remember everything)
Thank GOD my daughter isn’t like that. I never bought into all that crap. My daughter eats what is put in front of her. I’m sure she’d only eat one thing too if I only let her eat the things she wants to eat. It’s not good for them! If they don’t want to eat it now, wait. They’ll eat it when they get hungry. And a nutritionist I talked to agreed with me!

You know… I used to think that way too. That’s how I was raised. I wasn’t allowed to leave the table until I finished my plate, and if I didn’t, I wasn’t allowed to eat anything for the rest of the night. If it was something I just wasn’t going to eat, I’d sit there for hours. I’d TRY to eat it… but I just… couldn’t.

I even tried to apply this to my kids before I found out they were Autistic and had Texture issues/Food Aversions. I wouldn’t keep anything in the house that was bad for the kids (and if I did, they were hidden and ONLY every once and a while. Like gummies once a week)… before they regressed they pretty much ate everything and anything. I can remember back when Tyler was about a year old eating a sub with lettuce and tomatoes on it (torn apart of course, but he’d eat everything). Pasta, avocado, all kinds of fruits and veggies… Justin ate pretty much the same stuff minus the avocado. lol It actually makes me sad thinking about it. But then they regressed. They didn’t stop eating everything right off the bat. It was like they got tired of eating it, so I figured, ‘no big deal… they need a break from it, we’ll do it again next week…’. Only next week they didn’t want it either (or they would only eat a little bit of it)… and then the following week they wouldn’t eat it until I realized they just weren’t eating it at all any more. And slowly… most of the foods they loved started becoming foods they wouldn’t even try anymore without a screaming/wrestling match. I tried the “you’re not getting up until you eat” or “you’re not eating anything else until you eat this… when you’re hungry an hour from now, I’ll heat this back up and you can eat it then”… But it never worked. Knowing what I know now, I feel bad that I pushed them like that.

Every once and a while… holding them still and getting even just a small bite in their mouth to remind them that they liked it worked, but not often. Usually they would start gagging and spitting it out like it was the worst thing they’ve ever tasted.

Jax (their little brother) on the other hand started off with texture issues/food aversions. He’s NEVER wanted to eat fruits and veggies… pasta… He’ll eat some fruits/veggies if they’re purred, but he also has some other issues we’re trying to figure out.

It wasn’t until I started learning about my kids food issues that I really started to understand mine. My Mom would get SO ANGRY with me for not eating. Back then everything was just… gross. Everything smelled gross, looked gross… I was a lot like Justin. I would eat some things, but I had a very limited interest (and my Mom loved cooking with onions and peppers). I got picked on a LOT for being a picky eater. It got worse the older I got. “Why can’t you be more like your brother – see, he’s eating it!” or “stop being such a baby and eat it.” We would go to Red Lobster or somewhere for a special occasion and I’d order chicken fingers. They were safe and I knew I’d eat them. My husband says that I have “little kid taste buds”. I don’t like beer or wine or even most alcohols. I don’t like eating most fruits and veggies… I like most of the flavors of them, but I don’t like the texture. Like I LOVE apples… raw. But I cannot and will not eat an apple pie. I hate the texture of a cooked apple. Then there are some veggies I just can’t bring myself to eat because I recoil just thinking about eating them.

Believe me. I don’t WANT to be like this. I WANT to be able to eat everything and anything. Do you know how much it sucks when you wanted to “grow up” to be a chef, only to realize you can’t because you have to taste the food you’re making? I love to cook… with cool and crazy colors and spices… I love creating. But I can’t eat it. It sucks. I get SO BORED with my food options… but I can only get so creative with the limited choices I have when cooking for myself. I do try new things, but between just not being able to try it, hold it down, or the texture… I end up not liking much. There are a few times where I’ll actually try something new and like it! Those are pretty exciting days, but it’s often discouraging because they’re SO few and far between.

So in ending this blog, since I’m now rewriting it, is in two fold…

1: When you see and read things like the picture at the top, hopefully this will give you a better understanding and you’ll either keep scrolling and hold off on judgment or at least remind you to be thankful you don’t have to worry about all of this.

2: If you ARE raising a kid who has issues with food for one reason or another… to try to be patient. As a Mom of special needs kids with food issues… it’s frustrating. All I want is for them to be happy and healthy and have more than the few options they have right now to eat. Then I have to remind myself, I know what it’s like for them. It’s not their fault… and it’s not fun on that side either.

A special thank you to Autism Odysseys for allowing me to use their picture for my blog! 🙂 

You might be an Autism Parent if…

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It’s the end of Autism Awareness Month, and if you’re a regular on my page My Crazy Little People, you’ve seen the little cartoon characters I’ve been making with the hashtag #YouMightBeAnAutismParentIf… If you haven’t click here to check them out. 🙂

However, they can be incredibly time consuming, and difficult to create with the limited things I can do on the websites I use. Instead I decided to make a list of all your amazing quotes and post them in my blog!

I hope these will give you comfort in knowing you’re not the only one going through the same thing or a laugh knowing there are others similar to you! 🙂 (Which IS the reason I started my page! 😀 )

Here are the responses from my page to finish the sentence You might be an Autism Parent if…

your child lives off 5 foods or less!
Just Another Day With Autism

you stock up on a food that your child likes,
only to have them suddenly refuse to eat it.
Aspiemom: AdventuresinAutismland

you stock up and buy the next few sizes
up when you find clothing or shoes your
kids will actually wear.
Aspiemom: AdventuresinAutismland

your child loves to splash in puddles but hates when
his shoes are wet so you make sure you have a
paper towel anytime you think the ground looks wet.
Stacy Lengyel-Sclesky

the YouTube celebrities that
do tours are their “friends”.
Jackie Linder Olson

if you and your husband have MULTIPLE conversations
on the well being and origins of cartoon characters!
Autism, The not “normal” normal

you have own 300 kids dvds
and only 5 work.
Autism, The not “normal” normal

you take pictures of the lines your kid creates.
Zsanece Brown


your child refuses to eat arby’s because
it the day he usually gets Popeye’s!
Patrice Goss

when strangers know your address because
your child blurts it out to everyone he meets.
Kate Boykin

Your son CANT drink the tea you just made
him Because “its in the wrong cup””!
Kathy Michele Garrett

your house looks like Fort Knox
and your kid still manages to get out.
Sandra Wells

You dread taking your child in a public restroom
because the hand dryers freak him out.
Ashtin Schissler

you have had to limit the food
on the plate due to “stuffing”.
Brandie Valentine

You have purchased a few extra sets of rechargeable
batteries and always have them charged and ready.
Brandie Valentine 

When you have seen the same episode
of blues clues 100 times…. In a single day.
Brandie Valentine

You wait outside of the grocery store for a few minutes
to “test the waters” before attempting grocery shopping.
Brandie Valentine

You have realized that his rituals
have become your rituals.
Brandie Valentine

 You have mastered the buzz cut
because getting his hair professionally
cut causes you both extreme anxiety.
Brandie Valentine

When you have a strong lock on everything,
even and especially the refrigerator.
Melissa DiMauro

You have a panic attack when
the cable goes out.
Melanie Ash

your child’s bed now has 10 blankets and your willing
to cover up with a washcloth cause its been
18 hours since either of you slept.
Jeanna Payne

you start counting how many wipes you
have when your child spots the mud puddle.
Jeanna Payne

you’ve been singing and watching the same nursery
rhymes for the past six years, at home AND in the car!
Sana Arsalan

a TV schedule change fills you with dread.
Felicity Goodhall

You rely a hell of alot on an
iPad to keep things calm.
Roy Carter

You want to cry when a food company
changes it’s packaging.
Jacob’s Journey with Autism, Mood Disorder, and NF1

It doesn’t matter how
high you put something,
he/she will still get it.
Alex Falkner

 You have to figure out if it’s because of puberty
or he needs another med adjustment.
Randomness of Our Lives

You’re terrified when you hear the
toilet paper roll and then a flush.
Letters From A Spectrum Mom

your house is like the motel 6 cause
our lights are always on.
Diane Bagby Jenkins

 Weighted gear is a part of
everyday normal life.
Ashley Matheney

 You are in a secret panic because of the
Kraft Macaroni and Cheese recipe change.
Tina Howard

 Your kid can tell you everything there is to
know about Abraham Lincoln, but can’t
remember to put on underwear.
Tina Howard

you have your own weighted
blanket just because.
Kate Boykin

 Your child could sing every word from
frozen, on key, after the first viewing.
Laura Hernandez

Your child’s IQ is high, but he can’t
put his own clothes on most mornings.
Laura Hernandez

The low battery sign on any
technology device fills you with horror.
Kali Power

Your child has more appointments
per week than you do.
Kali Power

Your child’s closet is full of clothing
but they only wear one outfit.
Kali Power

 When you grocery shop, everything
in your cart is the same color!
Support Howie, say no to bullies

 You have to angle every picture so you
can’t tell my child refuses to wear cloths!
Jennifer Brandon

 If Monday morning makes you
cringe more than a IRS audit.
Jeanna Payne

 If u wear sneakers are your only shoes
with every outfit even a dress or skirt
because u are ready to run.
SundayIn Berkshire

you can handle your ASD kid’s meltdown but say
“what’s your problem” to your typical kids.
Alexia Herbowy Conrad

you click almost instantly with
other ASD parents.
Alexia Herbowy Conrad 

you know that actions speak
so much louder than words.
Alexia Herbowy Conrad

 

your ASD kiddo is better than a Doppler
radar when there’s change in the air.
Alexia Herbowy Conrad

“I need coffee” really means just give
me the whole pot and walk away!
Finely Davis

the words “Watch this YouTube video” make
you want to run away screaming.
Dawn Barnsdale

christmas movies and music
aren’t just for christmas.
Kim Marie

you no longer judge the distance between
locations by miles, but by the number of times
your child’s favorite song repeats! 5.5 plays
until we get to Grandma’s!
Virginia Dorrell

you have watched their favorite movies
and shows 1,647 times, but keep doing so
because it makes them happy and calm.
Ashley Tilden-Allen

Your child has ninja skills, which makes you feel both
proud and petrified!
Ashley Tilden-Allen

your childs disappearing acts that would rival
Houdini are both impressive and heart stopping.
Ashley Tilden-Allen

you wake up to legos all
over and in your bed.
Autistic Angels

if your child can explain in detail why it’s possible
for a human to hold an alligator’s mouth shut with
his or her bare hands, then as a followup asks for a
detailed explanation of what the
expressions ‘blew it’ and ‘nailed it’ mean.”
Where’s Mommy’s Coffee?

 your child Streaks.
Melissa Dunn

when he tries something new and IF he likes it…
it’s like winning the lotto and posted on FB.
Kimberly Penaloza

your child refuses to wear a winter coat even
when it’s -30 below and a foot of snow!
Stacy Lengyel-Sclesky

 my child can’t stand the smell up cupcakes
but can sit on the toilet for 45 minutes pooping
and not be bothered the smell.
Kimberly Morales

random shrieking is not a cause for alarm.
Alex Pankratz

you can’t buy their pants in a
normal store anymore,
cause elastic waists aren’t
made that big at K-mart.
Alex Pankratz

melatonin is a normal
item on the grocery list
Alex Pankratz

markers are a bribe
for toenail trimming.
Alex Pankratz

If you have to hide the
crocs throughout the winter.
Sarah Jane Allen

You’ve been surviving on caffeine
and paperwork since 2011.
A is for Awesome – and Autism 

Half priced melatonin is more exciting
than Christmas morning.
A is for Awesome – and Autism 

You bolt to the grocery store in the middle of the
night because you’ve run out of one of the
four foods your child will actually eat.
A is for Awesome – and Autism 

 if your child can’t spell words,
but can spell YouTube, Facebook,
Google, Twitter, Nick Jr., Hulu, etc.. etc…
Lorena Sanchez Jauregui

you avoid making too much noise while
opening up a snack for yourself, only to
realize your child’s already there.
Lorena Sanchez Jauregui

you have to tip toe to go to the restroom very early
in the morning to avoid waking up your child….
you have to replace headphones frequently.
Lorena Sanchez Jauregui

 If the sound of grinding teeth suddenly became
so normal to you (because That’s all he does)
after years of it bothering you.
Prinsesa Martinez

loves a bath but lord forbid
the shower gets turned on.
Felicia Goade

 you find your shoes in the freezer
and put them away without thinking twice.
Sara Byk

your child has you trained to script with him
in barks, and you know all your lines exactly.
Sara Byk

you have to wrestle a bite of cookie into your
child’s mouth before he realizes it’s a
cookie and then you have to hide the bag
bc he now knows it holds cookies
Emma Alspaugh

you have to cover your child’s ears during
their own birthday songs at restaurants but
they’re still clapping along!
Emma Alspaugh

you celebrate the first time your child lets
you trim their nails without a meltdown.
Danielle Alonzo

you set a special ringtone for
your childs school and/or daycare.
Kate Wright

after your child’s diagnosis, and learning
about all the different sides of the spectrum…
that you start realizing you may be on it too.
My Crazy Little People

If I missed anyone, I’m sorry! I tried to go back through all the comments on all of the pictures too to try to find any! If you have one of your own that isn’t on the list, leave them in the comments! 😀

**If you see your quote and do not want it on the list, please either leave a message or contact me directly and I will edit it off the blog. **

About Us

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940837_10204878306707019_8798256172160932114_n Hi! I’m Jenna. I’m a stay at home Mom. I went to school to be a cosmetologist but moved out of state very shortly after I got my license, so… I can’t actually work in a salon until I get my license for this state. But I like to try to do hair on the side at my house.

I diagnosed myself as an Aspie with ADHD after a lot of research, tests online and talking to other women on the spectrum. I’m also not great at organizing my thoughts so, excuse me if this is a little chaotic.
I also have Fibromyalgia, Migraines, Hypothyroidism, Hashimoto’s, Depression and Anxiety.
I LOVE movies, books, photography, writing (really I collect hobbies) and I prefer being the goofball of any group.

We moved to Texas two and a half years ago from Pennsylvania, soon after their Dad got into a REALLY bad car accident (he was hit by a drunk driver). If you want to read about how it happened from both of our perspectives, you can read that here.

>>Update<< We’ll hopefully be moving to Colorado within the next two years because of  better Autism services/health coverage for me.

IMG_2489 Justin is 8 years old and is in a 2nd grade, Special-Education classroom. He LOVES his class and his teacher.

He was diagnosed with Hypothyroid and Hashimoto’s in July of 2016 (and we’re now working on getting him Gluten free), Type 1 Diabetes in August of 2013, and was diagnosed with Severe/Regressive/Nonverbal Autism in November of 2011.

Justin is completely non-verbal but has recently been given an AAC device from The Kreed Foundation and has been learning how to use his new voice!
He loves to wander… he can walk for hours on end. He LOVES being outside, playing with rocks, and water. Recently he’s been picking leaves off of trees.
He doesn’t really play with toys much at all, but loves to take his tablet (which gives him a LOT of comfort and joy) wherever he goes.
He is VERY sensory seeking. Loves weird textures, tight compressions, and heavy weights. He loves kids and babies but doesn’t quite understand how to play with them.
He also likes to line things up and rip paper.
He just started learning to mold plastic and he’s started to like to paint with his fingers again. 🙂

He CAN throw a ball like a champ, but he’ll only play “catch” for a couple minutes and then gets bored.
Justin is generally always happy and really chill.
He’s very rarely upset and usually is off doing his own thing.

IMG_1430Tyler is 7 years old. I pulled him out of public school to homeschool him at the end of Kindergarten because of anxiety, meltdowns, aggression and he completely stopped eating. He’s in 1st grade and may never go back to public school, but if he does, it’ll be when HE’S ready.

He was diagnosed with ADHD in July of 2014 and was diagnosed with Severe/Regressive/Nonverbal Autism in November of 2011.

Tyler finally started to mimic and script starting around 4. Just a word here and there. Mostly it was babbling.
It wasn’t until the last couple of weeks that he’s been mimicking and scripting like CRAZY. He’s even been able to label objects correctly by pointing and saying their name when shown the object or it’s picture. Which he hasn’t been able to do a LOT of until recently.
But, as much as he “talks”, he still can’t tell me what his needs and wants are verbally if it’s not on a PEC card or if he has a script to explain.
However, with his new AAC device from The Kreed Foundation, he’s learning how to use his new voice to be able to convey wants and needs instead of just repeating what someone else has said!
Tyler likes being inside.
As much as he loves being able to go outside, unlike Justin, Tyler isn’t much of a wanderer. He has to have a goal/purpose for doing something. He has a hard time going to a park and just playing. He likes knowing what he’s supposed to do in every situation rather than just winging it.
Tyler is my little collector. He collects all kinds of things and carries them around or lines them up in random places. Like Bananas.
In the last 8 months or so he’s started to fall in love with books and those are the things he’s collecting and lining up.

Tyler is a ball of energy that literally bounces all over the house. Actually, the only time I can tell he isn’t feeling well is when he’s holding still for too long. Tyler isn’t too into his brothers but I’m slowly working on helping him figure out how to play and interact with them, but he isn’t there quite yet.
Ty LOVES learning and his devices… he’s also my sensitive little dude.
He is extremely loving and affectionate, but can also be overwhelmed or upset easily. He seems to have anxiety… and when he gets upset, he gets aggressive, self-harms and hits his head off of things. Tyler also used to be my runner. But he’s gotten a lot better about learning how to handle situations and doesn’t bolt anymore (or at least very seldomly).

Tyler is also mostly sensory seeking with needing input… but he’s also very sensory sensitive. He doesn’t like to wear clothes or shoes and has severe food aversions.

Lastly, he also got glasses. He does not like wearing them, but we’re working on it.

IMG_1765 Jaxson is 2 1/2 years old… and was officially diagnosed with Moderate, Nonverbal Autism, and Global Developmental Delay in November of 2016.
He has a LOT of sensory needs and issues with foods and in general textures.
We’ve been battling GI issues almost since birth. He was on 6 different formulas, 3 different milks, swallow studies, has had CT scans and allergy tests, probiotics… but I still don’t know why he wakes up screaming at night if we feed him the wrong thing or too much of something. Or why he has diarrhea and yeast infections. I eventually figured out that he has a severe sensitivity to Gluten. Now gluten free, dairy free, on a good probiotic, he’s finally able to sleep through the night without screaming in pain. As long as he doesn’t get a hold of brother’s food with gluten in it.

He’s absolutely hilarious and a complete klutz like his Mom. Poor kid is always falling or hurting himself somehow. He is getting better though. He’s learning to take him time when he walks and to actually walk – rather than just RUN everywhere.
He’s like Tyler – he never walked – he runs!

He loves Daniel Tiger, Little Einsteins, Dora, The Backyardigans, Team Umizoomi – we have TV going in the background about 70% of the day…. that’s actually how Tyler learned to start mimicking. I use it as an educational tool, rather than just TV.

He loves mouthing and chewing on things.
Absolutely LOVES water, spinning and jumping!!
He’s a VERY sensory seeking little guy.
He’s just started getting into puzzles and books.
But Jax prefers to be running around outside like Justin.

I just got him a really cheap and very simplistic AAC app for $7 and within three days he’s been able to tell me he needs help! So he’s doing amazing already!

13620306_872509906188417_3772524328601734256_n This is Daisy. We got her in April of 2016, and I THINK she was about 2-3 months old. We’re not sure what she is… We rescued her from an abusive home. She was covered in fleas and ticks… Afraid of everything and anyone.
She’s come a LONG way in just a couple of months.
But she still has anxiety and she’s been harder to train because of it.
Eventually, once she calms down a bit and stops trying to jump up and chew on the kids, she’ll be their Emotional Support Animal.

I can tell the boys WANT to like her… but she’s just too spastic right now

She’s incredibly sweet and loving, but she just needs a little more time and patience.

We’re working on finding her a trainer to help her learn, but with her anxiety and abuse from her previous owners, I’m just not qualified to train her the way that she needs to be trained.

14881183_677867052379503_905370874_o Last but not least, this is Amelia. Our newest addition to our family and our emotional support animal. I decided to find a very calm and chill cat while we’re working on training Daisy. Two months after I decided to adopt a kitty we found her. After only 2 weeks, the boys have really warmed up to her and allowed her to get a lot closer to them than they have with Daisy. Because she so still in very calm around them.  They’re still not completely comfortable with her yet. But with the amount of progress they’ve made in the last few months, I have really high hopes that they’ll all be best friends eventually. 🙂

Self Diagnosing

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I’m Autistic, probably have ADD/ADHD, Sensory Issues and Food Aversions.
I plan on getting my “real diagnosis” once I have insurance again.

I’ve thought I’ve had these for a while now (some longer than others), but I’ve always been afraid to come out and say it. People can be incredibly mean and judgmental… I also keep second guessing myself (maybe you’re just crazy?), and there’s a bit of denial too.

For as long as I can remember, I had food aversions. Like sitting at the dinner table for HOURS because I couldn’t make myself eat the spaghetti my Mom made because it had onions in it (I still can’t eat onions). I can’t eat chicken off a bone (after it’s been cut off and I’ve dissected it, I can eat it, but like chicken wings – nope, isn’t going to happen…). I LOVE the taste of fruit/fruit juice, but most of their textures, I can’t stand. Like Bananas, oranges, soft grapes, pears, plums…. pretty much anything but watermelon and apples… and even then, I’m picky about those too. Eventually I did figure out that it was the texture of foods that I didn’t like… but there were some foods I just don’t like the taste of either.

Then when I met my husband, he gave me a name/phrase for the things I didn’t like that weren’t over texture… I also have “little kid taste buds”. 😉 I don’t like wine, beer or coffee… you know, adult things. lol

But I also have just texture issues that have nothing to do with food. Like if I get something sticky gets on my hands I need to wash them immediately. I can’t use lotion, going to the beach sucks for me. It’s not so bad while I’m there, but if I can’t rinse off and change before I leave, the feeling of the gritty sand and the sticky salt water on me drives me crazy. I don’t like wearing pants in general unless they’re lightweight PJ pants. lol Or socks with the stitching in the toe, but I don’t mind wearing toe socks!! lol

I’m Autistic. I just always thought I was weird… “quirky”. I never really fit in with any particular group of kids. I’d find one or two people I liked and hung out with them. I used to think the reason I didn’t have many friends was due to moving around so much. I went to a different school every year starting in 8th grade (I moved in with my Aunt and Uncle and they are in the Air Force). I have a hard time keeping relationships. It’s not that I don’t want them! If anything, I get depressed over not having friends, but when I go looking for them… I have a hard time finding others like me.  I try to make friends anyway, and try to find common ground, but eventually it gets too hard for me to keep up the friendship and I end up sabotaging it. Then once I do, it’s exhausting and mentally and physically hard to keep up with. I stop talking to them, then I feel bad for not talking to them for so long, so I continue to NOT talk to them. Even when I find people who ARE like me, I’m so drained from personal issues (like migraines, TMJ, Lower back pain, fibromyalgia…) and taking care of my three kids who are also Autistic, that by the end of the day when I CAN talk to them, I don’t want to. Well… I “want” to, but end up zoning out watching a movie.

Movies/TV/Books are really the only way I can zone out and just not think for a while. Because I probably have ADD/ADHD, I have a really hard time NOT thinking about something. I’m usually thinking about quite a few things at a time, and when it’s really bad I can’t focus on anything, let alone the MANY things going through my brain. Which is also why it’s really hard for me to write. I actually write better than I talk… I have a hard time staying on subject when I’m speaking… I go off on tangents then forget what I’m talking about. But when I’m writing, I’m able to go back and reread what I wrote, so I can continue talking about what I need to. Or go back and delete a bunch of text that I thought was important, but really wasn’t (can’t do that in person). I often get SO distracted by everything else going on around me, I can’t focus long enough to write something. Which is also the reason I have a hard time finishing anything. My Aunt called it her “but first syndrome”.

I should do the dishes, but first, let me pick up these toys… but first I should pick up the food the boys dropped, but first, I need to get a trash bag… goes to the kitchen, but first I should make the kids their drinks, but first I need to go to the bathroom, I didn’t realize how bad I had to go, but first, look at all these dishes, I need to do these first. lol So, I DO end up getting things done, but probably not as much as I would if I could focus on just one thing at a time.

Having all of these has been hard. Especially because I didn’t understand why I was the way I was or why I did the things I did, until recently. I would look back at my life and not understand. Why did I have such a hard time making and keeping friends? Why did I make such bad decisions sooo often? Why did I have such bad relationships with my family, friends, significant others? Why am I so emotional or really easy to anger? Why can’t I get good grades in school? Why am I SUCH a picky eater?!?!

There are so many aspects to my life that took me a lot longer to realize and work on… even before I realized I probably have ADD/ADHD and Autistic. That if I had known why I did the things I did when I was younger, I might have had a completely different life. Better relationships… Finished college…

Maybe my depression wouldn’t have gotten so bad and wouldn’t have tried hurting myself so often. 

Although it does make me sad sometimes, there’s nothing I can do about it now.

Now I’m focusing on learning as much as I can so I can continue to better understand myself and really my kids. Although they don’t have the SAME problems/restrictions/“quirks” I do, I’m understanding why THEY are the way they are… or why they do the things they do, because I better understand myself.

These are just a FEW of the problems I have and have faced… to give you an idea of how important it is to talk about family history and to learn and understand. Even IF my family had figured out I was different than other girls my age and had me tested, I probably wouldn’t have gotten a diagnosis. Even today women are still not getting the diagnosis they need. All because we don’t show the same “signs and symptoms” as our male counterparts exhibit or because we are better at learning to mimic “normal” behaviors.

That and on my mom’s side, “you need to go to therapy” was an insult they used often, not a helpful idea. We didn’t talk about mental health or genetic “problems” or differences. So, even if someone in my family knew someone might have had a genetic difference, no one would talk about it and we would deny it until the day we died.

  • I’m trying to break generational curses and trying to better my family. 🙂 And although officially I don’t have a diagnosis… I’m not going to be afraid or ashamed to say it. I’m Autistic, ADD/ADHD, Sensory Issues and Food Aversions… depression , anxiety, and a slew of others… but just because my Autism doesn’t look like yours, doesn’t mean I’m not. Just because I can make eye contact, have a conversation, go (back) to college, get married and have kids… doesn’t mean I’m not.


Just because I’m a woman… doesn’t mean I can’t be Autistic.

How to get your child to eat both side of a PB&J

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How to get your child to eat BOTH sides of a PB&J

*Infomercial voice*
Does your child like PB&J but they really only eat one side or the other? Well we have a solution for you!

lol Seriously though. Justin loves PB&J… but some days he’s being a punk and wants to only eat the Jelly side. So….. we’re having carbs with a side of sugar? The Peanut Butter at least has protein!

I finally took the Peanut Butter and the Jelly and mixed them together. This way there was no salty side and no sweet side. I prepared his sandwich and handed him the plate, then stood there waiting… I knew his usual routine.

He picked up a piece, peeled it apart…. stopped… looked at it… sniffed it, decided it smelled okay and ate it. lol

We haven’t had a problem since!
It can be kind of annoying to have to take the time to mix them together, especially when you don’t have a lot of time to get things around in the first place. However!! It’s a lot better than making the sandwich and either it getting “sent back to the kitchen” 😉 or your child only eating half of it! 🙂

So, since this is An Autism Mom’s Problems AND Solutions… I thought someone else might want to try this!

Also, since writing this, people have mentioned that they use Nutella and Peanut Butter for their kids. Mine have never had Nutella, but I don’t see why it wouldn’t work the same way!! 🙂 Mix’em up and let me know how it works for you!