The other day, there was a house down the road having a yard sale.
I love yard sales.
Because my kids don’t always like to play with toys, so I like being able to find cheap toys to try out with them. If they don’t work out and the boys don’t like them, we put them in a bag and take them to Goodwill.
So I checked out this house’s yard sale, and it was all “girl” stuff.
But I’ve raised my kids without “gender specific” toys, so it didn’t matter to me.
I grabbed a barbie, a few little ponies, a baby doll, a little book, a hula hoop and this little princess wand and hat thing.
For $3! Couldn’t beat it.
I took them home, laid them all out on the couch and let the boys check them out.
I stuck the princess hat on Tyler and gave him the wand.
I smiled really big and said “How cute is he?!?!” to their Dad.
He kind of scoffed/laughed “That’s not even funny.”
I automatically got REALLY upset and defensive.
It goes to show that if you don’t spend a lot of time with someone, you grow apart and so do your priorities and ideals. Because we’ve had this talk before about gender specific.
“What? Because he’s wearing a hat and holding a wand? Because it’s pink? Because it’s a princess thing?? What’s “WRONG” with it??”
He didn’t say anything.
When are we going to stop limiting our children?
The biggest thing I hear is that BOYS shouldn’t play with GIRL stuff because they need to learn to grow up to be MEN.
Well ya know what… I’m honestly not too impressed with the male population.
(NOT all men… I’ve met some really amazing guys and some pretty crappy chicks – this is not an “all” group…)
But I would rather my boys grow up to be sensitive, understanding, compassionate MEN who have learned how to treat women, how to take care of THEIR children and how to over all not be an @$$hole.
Because there are a lot of “Men” out there who leave their families…. Don’t take care of their kids… leave ALL of the house work *couhh* “womens” *cough* jobs to the women… instead of being in a PARTNERSHIP with their spouse or significant other and only doing the “manly” jobs and roles.
But maybe… if girls were “allowed” to do the “boy” typical stuff… and the boys were “allowed” to do the “girl” typical stuff….
There would be better coping families out there.
That maybe women wouldn’t think they NEEDED a man in their lives and could become successful in their careers instead of ending up in a loveless relationship…
Or men could actually make their own food and do their own laundry, instead of going from living with mom to being with a woman because that’s what they’re supposed to do…. Before they’re really ready to make that commitment.
Maybe we’d have healthier families… that last…. That don’t end in divorce… that don’t end up with kids moving back and forth between their parents… who don’t end up feeling like it’s their fault.
Maybe we’ll have little girls… growing up to be engineers and scientists and men who are stay at home fathers or make up artists or bakers….
Women can still be women and men can still be men…. Without making them only use gender specific toys when they’re kids. Girls can wear blue and boys can wear pink. Girls can play with mud and trucks and boys can play with dolls and easy bake ovens.
That’s not going to magically turn them into the opposite sex.
Ya’ll know that’s not actually what’s happening right?
We’re expanding their imaginations.
Expanding their opportunities…
Expanding their worlds.
But by limiting what they can play with… limiting their choices, we’re telling them that they really can’t be whatever they want to be when they grow up… they can only be what society deems appropriate for their gender.
You can parent however you choose… they’re your children, and it’s your choice.
When I tell them that they can do anything in life.
If they are willing to fight for it… I’m not going to start limiting them to only “men” typical careers/jobs/opportunities.
PS: The boys didn’t even play with any of those toys except the hoola hoop and the baby doll.
But it was THEIR choice.
I didn’t force those toys onto them… but I didn’t also keep them from being able to make the choice to play with them.