Sometimes, when my “reach” starts dropping and there aren’t many people seeing my posts. Or every day I have someone unliking my page (sometimes even 6 people in one day), I can get discouraged.
With three boys, two on the spectrum and a baby, along with my own personal problems (like migraines, fibro, underactive thyroid, anxiety, depression, etc. – with no insurance – so no meds to help me), it’s often that I think… what’s the point? Why keep putting this stress on yourself to make sure you post enough (but not too much)? Or making sure you respond to everyone. How even when you have time to finally rest and just take a few minutes to yourself, you don’t because you’re working on your page or trying to write a blog. Why keep doing this to yourself? Just delete your page, take time for yourself! Just worry about you and your kids and live life.
Then I remember what it was like before I started my page. How alone I felt. How it seemed like there just weren’t others out there with similar problems to ours. Sure, there were a few pages I could relate to more so than the others. But I have a hard time talking to people for long lengths of time… especially in person. I end up just pushing people away. So, I didn’t have friends… my husband is either working or sleeping – all day, every day – and I’m here, with my thoughts, with no one, not even my kids to talk to.
Which is what made me start my page. I thought, if I felt like this, there HAD to be others out there. Others like me who had similar problems. Either personal or with our kids. I wouldn’t want any other person to feel like I’m feeling. Then more and more people started following my page telling me “I thought I was the only one” or “thank you, I don’t feel so alone anymore”. And with me helping others, others were helping me. I have people to talk to who get where I’m coming from. Even if they don’t have kids, let alone kids like mine… there are people being supportive and smiling at our craziness with me!
When people tell me that they don’t feel alone, because they have someone they can relate to, or how their kids are a lot like mine… it encourages me to push forward. Because I’m not doing this to raise awareness (although it is a perk). I’m not doing this to document our journey or for an outlet for myself… Although those are all GREAT reasons to start a page, I’m doing this for others who feel like they’re alone, like I did. They don’t know who to vent to, ask questions or just have someone understand their struggle… or how to see the humor in what they’re going through (which is why I post things that some people think I’m crazy for posting!).
As long as there is just one person who is getting something from my page, someone who isn’t completely overwhelmed because they know that it’s not THEIR fault their kids are like this. They aren’t bad parents, they’re just in a tough situation… that they know that things will some day get better, because they see and hear how we struggle, but can see and watch my kid making progress…
I will keep my page going.
I will fight back the urge to shut down my page when it seems like no one is listening, when it seems like no one REALLY wants to hear what I have to say… when life gets just too overwhelming.
Because it’s a horrible feeling… to feel alone… to feel like no one understands. To feel like no one gets what you’re going through. And I want to make sure, that there is at least one person in this world you can look to and know that whatever you’re going through… even if I can’t relate, I’ll be here to listen. And if possible, I’ll help… even if that’s just referring you to another page who I know has gone through something similar.
Because we as an Autism Community, we have to have each others backs. ❤